


Menagerie

by Bear_shark, esaael



Series: MCU Kink Bingo 2018 [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Anal Sex, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Cat!Buck, Crack Treated Seriously, Embedded Images, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Genderfluid Bucky Barnes, Hand Jobs, Hawk!Buck, Humor, M/M, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Otter!Buck, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Scent Kink, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-08-29 15:25:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16746568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bear_shark/pseuds/Bear_shark, https://archiveofourown.org/users/esaael/pseuds/esaael
Summary: Bucky’s trail has long since gone cold, and Steve is losing hope. When a mysterious hawk joins them in their battles against Hydra, Steve develops a new obsession: befriend that bird.Or: Bucky becomes a shapeshifter, and Steve loves him in all forms.





	1. Caw, Caw Motherfucker

**Author's Note:**

> Featuring incredible art by [esaael](http://esaael.tumblr.com)! Look at that hawk! SO GORGEOUS I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT!
> 
> Thank you to the incredible [Parrannnah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parrannnah/pseuds/Parrannnah) for taking this crack seriously with me, beta-ing this story, and making this 1000% better.
> 
> And a huge thank you to the mods of [MCU Kink Bingo](https://mcukinkbingo.tumblr.com) for the best bingo card ever!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MCU Kink Bingo Square: Character is a shapeshifter

Steve’s heart was only half in the fight. He hefted his shield in the air, bounced it off two goons and caught it as it rebounded back to him.  It was satisfying to land a good hit, but he couldn’t help wondering, what good was taking down every Hydra operative if he never found Bucky?

 _You’d be ridding the world of a Nazi death cult_ , some part of his brain supplied. Steve cared about that, he did. When he’d first found out what Hydra had done to Bucky, he’d gone after them with all the fury of the Old Testament God. But, and here was the rub, that was eight months ago, and he thought he would have found Bucky by now. He’d been holding out hope that they would be reunited, and that hope was beginning to recede.  

God, Steve missed the smell of him. Nothing got his blood thrumming or felt more like home than the smell of Bucky’s good, clean sweat.

It had started with that. Bucky was out with some girl dancing, and Steve was home alone and a little sore about it.  After a hectic week, their shared apartment was a mess with Bucky’s dirty clothes on the ground and dishes left on the counters. Steve picked up Bucky’s shirt, grumbling about having to clean up the mess, and sniffed it to see if it needed to be washed. It smelled like metal, cigarettes, and Bucky’s aftershave, but it was the sweat that did it for Steve.

Steve knew he was playing with fire. It was dangerous and dirty to want Bucky like this, but he’d been pining for him for so long, it couldn’t hurt to just take a little smell. No one would have to know and no one would get hurt.

Steve lay down on his bed and closed his eyes. He fisted Bucky’s shirt in his hand and held it right up to his nose. The fabric of Bucky’s shirt was soft, worn thin through many wearings. He imagined Bucky on top of him, the musk of him, the pure masculine scent.

Ready to get this show on the road, Steve hastily undid his fly and shimmied his pants down. His dick stood up proudly, pink at the top and already beaded with pre-come. Steve spit into his free hand and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to watch himself, he wanted to imagine it was Bucky’s hand on his dick. How would he do it? Knowing Buck, he’d probably start with a tease, go slow and drag it out. He’d always been a bit of a showman.

Steve squeezed the head of his cock and played with his foreskin. He wondered what Bucky’s lips would feel like there, the smooth press of the tip of his tongue licking down the shaft. He didn’t hear the front door opening or Bucky entering the room. He did hear Bucky’s sharp intake of breath. Steve yanked the shirt off his face and used it to cover his dick.

“Buck, I—”

“Shhh,” Bucky said, all buttered up satisfaction. “You look real good, Stevie.” He prowled over to the bed and lay beside Steve and pulled back the shirt. “What do you know? It blushes the same color as your cheeks.”

Steve glanced down and back up at Bucky in alarm.

“Don’t stop,” Bucky said encouragingly.

Steve grabbed onto his cock like it was a live wire, but Bucky was sure and certain. Bucky put his hand over Steve’s and moved them together up and down Steve’s shaft. Bucky’s fingers were smooth but calloused, and the wet slide of them along his cock made Steve arch into the touch. Steve could hardly breathe, and Bucky sensed it.

“Just relax Stevie. We’re just doing what feels good. This feel good, sweetheart?”

Steve’s cheeks, already so red, burned brightly at the endearment. He nodded. Bucky leaned forward and pressed his lips against Steve’s. A gentle push at first, but then insistent. Steve opened his mouth, let Bucky slide his tongue inside.

Bucky pulled back and whispered in Steve’s ear. “Were you thinking about me? You like thinking about me all sweaty and nasty?”

Steve bit his lip and nodded his head. Bucky smiled against his cheek, pressing his kisses there. Bucky let go of Steve’s cock and rucked up Steve’s shirt. He ran his fingers up Steve’s bony chest, pinching Steve’s nipples until they stood up proudly. It was almost too much. Steve felt hot all over like he might burst into flames at any moment. His hand began to move at a frantic pace.     

“Slow down,” Bucky said. He pressed his lips against Steve’s cheek and Steve could feel the brush of his stubble and his grin. “You were brave and cheeky as hell to plan this, but now we got all night.”

When Steve froze and didn’t respond, Bucky hurried to add, “And all the other nights, too, Stevie. You gotta know that.”

“It’s not that,” Steve said. He swallowed thickly. “I didn’t plan this. I—”

Bucky withdrew immediately, and Steve grabbed hold of his shirt to keep him from getting out of the bed. Steve crushed their lips together, trying to communicate all the things that were hard to say. Bucky didn’t respond to the kiss, and Steve knew he’d have to risk taking. “I wanted it, Buck, for years. I just never thought you and me—”

Bucky pulled him close possessively. “That’s ridiculous. Of course you and me. Who else?”

“Nobody else,” Steve said. “It’s always been you.” He pulled Bucky closer and kissed his neck. His skin tasted like salt and cigarette smoke. Steve loved it. He ran his fingers down Bucky’s chest and stomach, feeling those long lean muscles. “Wanna touch you,” Steve said.

Bucky laughed breathily. “You’re already touching me, darlin’.”

Steve groaned. “I’m trying to be romantic, and you’re—”

Bucky interrupted him with a tweak to the nipples. He stood up and kicked off his shoes and pants. It only added to the mess in their apartment, but Steve couldn’t find it in himself to complain. Bucky looked beautiful, finely carved, and Steve started touching his own cock without thinking about it.

Bucky lay back down in bed batted Steve’s hand away. “I have an idea.” He spat in his palm and took both their cocks in hand. The room was quiet save for the wet squelch of their hands and their labored breathing.

Steve put his hand over Bucky’s and squeezed. Bucky gasped. “You little punk,” he said, but he was grinning. Steve kissed the grin off his face, all tongue and teeth. Bucky’s hand moved rapidly up and down their cocks.

“I thought you said we had all the time in the world,” Steve said.

Bucky nipped Steve’s bottom lip. “I changed my mind. If I don’t come soon, I’m going to explode.”

Soon, Steve would tease Bucky, take it slow and take him apart, but for tonight he just squeezed a little harder, pressed his sweaty brow against Bucky’s chest, and came with a cry muted against Bucky’s skin. Bucky tumbled down with him a moment later but managed to gentle them through the aftershocks.

“I love you,” Steve said, face buried in Bucky’s chest.

Bucky nudged him. “Don’t hide now.”

Steve pulled back and frowned. “No teasing.”

“Say it again.”

Bucky looked vulnerable, unusual for him. He needed to hear this, Steve realized. Needed to know that Steve wanted him without reservation. “I love you, punk.”

“Love you, too.” Hand wet with their spunk, Bucky peppered kisses on Steve’s cheek and temple. “My guy,” he whispered, lips against Steve’s hair.  

\-----

The fighting intensified as four goons tried to outflank Steve. Normally, he would have Tony and Sam for aerial support, but Tony was busy breaking down the base’s security system, and Sam was helping Natasha infiltrate the south entrance. Steve was alone, and Bucky would kick his ass if he got hurt because he was distracted by reminiscing.

He had volunteered to be bait, to draw Hydra out and make a big show of it, while Clint provided sniper support. It was a reckless plan, but Steve had been growing more desperate the longer it took to find Bucky.

“How’s it coming?” Steve said through his comm. Six operatives were around him now, still not more than he could handle, but their numbers were increasing, and he was beginning to feel foolish for not bringing Bruce along.

“At least ten minutes until I can dismantle their security,” Tony said. “I’m good, but I’m not that good.”  

Natasha and Sam didn’t respond, likely trying to avoid drawing attention to themselves inside the base.

An operative hopped onto Steve’s back and grabbed him around the throat. Clint fired an arrow and the goon felt to the ground.

“Got a little close there,” Clint said.

“Thanks,” Steve huffed, trying to catch his breath.  

There was still no word from Natasha, and Steve kicked a goon hard in the stomach to quell his rising anxiety. Hydra operatives continued to swarm out of the base, reminding Steve of clowns exiting a clown car. Evil, murder-y clowns.

A stun baton hit Steve in the stomach, and he buckled over in pain as the operative punched him in the face. Another goon raised his gun to shoot Steve, who barely got his shield up in time.

“Little help,” he said.

“Trying to,” Clint said, firing arrows rapidly. “There’s a lot of them.”

“Then it shouldn’t be hard to hit them,” Steve replied. He spat the blood off his lips and knocked three goons into one another.

The remaining Hydra operatives formed a loose ring around Steve, but they weren’t firing many shots, careful that the ricocheting bullets didn’t hit their own people. Their stun batons looked as menacing as Natasha’s Widow’s bite.

“Behind you,” Clint said urgently into the comms, but it was too late. Steve was hit in his flank with a stun baton while another operative raised his knife.

Out of the treeline, there was a terrifying _kree-yah_ noise followed by _ki-ki-ki-ki_ as a gray hawk descended at a sharp angle, angry as hell and not shy about letting everyone know. Stunned, both Steve and the Hydra operatives froze. Steve barely had time to wonder if the hawk was one of the good guys before it latched itself onto a Hydra goon’s face and clawed at him viciously. Steve was grateful if a little grossed out.

Steve took advantage of the distraction and incapacitated several goons, turning the fight in their favor. The hawk dove left and right, attacking anyone who got close to Steve. The operatives seemed more afraid of the bird than Captain America, which made no sense to Steve, but he went with it. An operative tried to train his gun on the hawk, but it was moving too quickly, and by the time he had a decent shot, Clint had lodged an arrow in the operative’s chest.

Clint whooped in triumph. “Stay away from the bird bros! Caw, caw, motherfucker!”  

The three of them quickly took out the remaining Hydra agents. Surprisingly, the hawk didn’t fly off. It didn’t relax either and watched the unconscious operatives for any sign of movement. Now that they were done fighting, Steve got a good look at the bird. It had beautiful metal gray feathers, dark gray around the eyes and a stripe of white on its head. But it was the fierce, blood red eyes that stood out the most. A loud explosion shook the ground, signaling that the infiltration team had completed their mission.

“All units converge on Hawkeye’s position,” Steve said. He breathed a sigh of relief and reached for the hawk, which, why? It bounced away from him, snapping it’s hooked beak at him viciously. Now that the immediate threat of Hydra was diminishing, the hawk seemed to have turned its anger at Steve.

“Hey buddy, we’re on the same side,” Steve said, stumbling backward and away from the bird.  This only seemed to irritate it further.

“Holy shit, what a beautiful hawk,” Sam said over the comms. He ran towards Steve, but the hawk turned on Sam, waved its wings and aimed its talons at him. “Whoa! Shit,” Sam said. “I take it back.”

The hawk didn’t seem to want to come with them, but Steve couldn’t get it to fly away either. “Shoo! We have to go,” he said. “There’s going to be another explosion.”

“Come on, Cap,” Sam said. “It doesn’t understand what you’re saying.”  

“I can’t just leave him!” Steve said. “Shoo!” he yelled again. The hawk looked curiously at the two men and casually walked away, hopping every few steps and looking back at Steve with a stern expression.  

Sam pulled on his arm. “You’re about to get blown up, Steve.”

Steve and Sam met up with the rest of the team at the treeline. They made it to the quinjet a minute before the second and much larger explosion.  

**\-----**

“Why couldn’t it have been a bald eagle?” Tony complained during debriefing in Avenger’s Tower. “Bald eagle fighting alongside Captain America? I could have died happy.” He threw himself dramatically down on the couch.

“You’re missing the point!” Clint exclaimed. “It was a hawk that scratched out people’s eyes. Hawkeye, get it?”

“Not your best work,” Sam said, which only seemed to rile Clint up further.

“He kinda just scratched their faces,” Steve said. “Not their eyes specifically.”

“Irrelevant,” Clint replied. “I need a bird. Nat, can I get a bird?”

“No,” Natasha said flatly.

“But Sam has a bird,” Clint protested.

“Sam has a robot bird,” Natasha said. “Not a real one.”

“Excuse you,” Sam replied. “Redwing is very real.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Fine. The point is, Sam’s ‘bird’ just needs to be hooked up to a charging port. Your hawk would need to be fed, trained, and exercised. It’s a lot of work. Right, Steve?”

Steve looked up from where he had been staring at the floor. He’d been letting the conversation wash over him. Ignoring Natasha’s question, he said, “How are none of you surprised a hawk joined our mission today?”

Tony shrugged. “The way I see it, there are three possibilities. Number one, and the one I’m rooting for is that it looked like a bird but was actually a robot. Second option, a mutant with a vendetta against Hydra, and honestly who doesn’t have a vendetta against them, has a hawk form and wanted to join in, or three, said mutant can control animals and sent one to help us out. Not the weirdest thing we’ve seen this week.”

Steve didn’t say that the hawk seemed more concerned with keeping Steve safe than taking down Hydra. “Why did he wait so long to join the fight?” Steve said, because Tony was looking at him expectantly.

“He?” Natasha said, one eyebrow raised.

Steve didn’t want to give himself away, so he didn’t meet her eyes. “Just a hunch,” he mumbled.

“A sexist hunch,” Clint said. “There, Nat, I fought the patriarchy. Can I have a hawk now?”

“Steve’s not being sexist,” Natasha said. “He has a theory.”

Everyone put down what they were doing and looked at Steve. The weight of their collective gaze made his neck sweat. “Nope,” he said weakly. He absolutely could not tell them that the hawk reminded him of Bucky—guarding his six and pissed off at Steve for being reckless. They would give him sad faces or recommend an additional therapist, and Steve couldn’t bear it. “Uh, good meeting, everybody,” Steve said as he walked out of the room.

“We’re not done yet!” Natasha called out.

Steve gulped. He didn’t doubt it.

**\-----**

Steve felt a little guilty for leaving the meeting early, but he was sure Natasha would have seen through him if he stayed much longer.

Back in his apartment, he forced himself to shower and change into sweatpants before he picked up his tablet. He Googled hawks and was immediately met with an overwhelming amount of information. Steve had an eidetic memory and could speed read with no problem, but this was a lot to sift through.     

“JARVIS, if I were to tell you the physical description of a bird do you think you could identify it?”

“Certainly, Captain,” JARVIS replied.

Feeling encouraged, Steve leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes, visualizing the bird. “I think it was a hawk of some sort. Gray with streaks of a darker gray on the underside of its tail and belly. Orangish yellow feet. Small but somehow still terrifying.”

“That leaves several options, Captain. Do you remember anything else?”

“Only that it was very fast, and oh! It had red eyes. Does that help?”

“I believe you may be describing the Northern Goshawk,” JARVIS replied. An image of a bird similar to the one in flight appeared on a holographic display. “Is this it?”

“Yes!” Steve said excitedly. “I mean, pretty close. The streaks of gray were a little smoother.”

Another picture replaced the previous one. “You may be describing a male goshawk. The female is slightly larger and has rougher banding.”

“JARVIS, could you download some books from the library about hawks for me? Oh, and please don’t tell Tony what I’m doing.” He didn’t think Tony would bother to check his search history, but Steve wasn’t taking any chances.

“Of course, Captain.”

The first book Jarvis downloaded was _Birds of Prey: Hawks, Eagles, Falcons, and Vultures of North America_. Steve scrolled through the book looking at other hawks just to make sure he had the right one. The description confirmed it. Up close, the bird had long murderous looking talons, a sharply pointed beak, and what the writer described as “blood red eyes.”

“This large, powerful, tenacious street brawler of a raptor is celebrated in account after account for its defensiveness around the nest site, single-mindedness in pursuit of prey, and rapid acceleration.”

Well, that certainly seemed to fit. He liked the bird’s moxie. Grit, Peggy would have said. It reminded him of Bucky finishing the fights Steve started. Quick and brutal and always followed with a lecture. Steve missed that too, which was saying something. He’d take a lecture if it meant he got to be close to Bucky again.

Despite its small size, the goshawk seemed pretty dangerous.

“Goshawks are mostly silent, but at the nest they make a loud, high-pitched, no-nonsense kack scream/call that is louder than a Cooper’s Hawk. It is designed to get your attention. If it doesn’t, the bird that is threatening to decapitate you most certainly will.”

It had certainly sounded terrifying to Steve and had freaked out the Hydra agents. And no one had been able to get a bead on it. According to the book, goshawks were incredibly fast.

“Few birds and perhaps no raptors are faster out of the block than goshawk. They appear to attain full speed while the branch they just vacated still vibrates.”.

Steve wanted to befriend the bird. Maybe they could go on hikes together? However, as helpful as the goshawk had been, Steve couldn’t justify bringing it into battle. He’d seen Harry Potter movies and didn’t think he would survive his Hedwig moment. But a pet? That sounded appealing. Maybe this hawk needed a home? Steve pictured himself with one of the thick leather gloves on, holding the hawk up and letting it hunt prey before coming back.

Hawks tended to be nervous creatures in captivity and needed a strong leader, Steve read. He figured he could do that. He let his team have a bit of leeway, but Steve wasn’t afraid to put his foot down if Clint let pizza boxes pile four feet high in the common room.

He read that female goshawks sometimes killed males attempting to breed if they didn’t bring food, so he figured a snack might be a good first step.

“JARVIS, could you order some hawk food?” Steve said.

“Certainly, would you like the mice to be alive or dead?” JARVIS replied.

Ew, Steve forgot about that part. “Maybe strips of meat then?”

Some niggling part of Steve’s brain said it was a little crazy to go from obsessing over Bucky to obsessing over this hawk, but it just felt right. Steve didn’t know why, but he had to befriend this bird, even if it killed him.

Steve read all night and awoke the next morning with his tablet on his chest and dried drool on his chin. Sam was there with donuts and coffee. He looked unimpressed. “You read fifteen books on hawks, Steve? There can’t have been that much new information after the third one. You’re lucky I convinced Natasha to let me come instead of her because she would be having a field day right now."

Steve looked accusingly up at the ceiling. “You said you’d keep this a secret.”

“Only from Sir,” JARVIS replied. "You were very specific in your request."

“Steve,” Sam said, and this time he looked worried.

“Please save the speech until I am more awake,” Steve grumbled.

Sam was quiet, and when Steve peeked out at him, he seemed to be more thoughtful than angry. “Look, man, I’m glad you’ve pulled back from going all Homeland about Barnes. I mean, I half expected you to post a map of the world with pins for Bucky sightings on your wall. And—”

“Actually, the hawk’s a lot like Bucky,” Steve said. Sam frowned, and Steve covered his eyes. “Not the face! I can’t take the faces.”

“Then don’t be naming birds you just met after your missing boyfriend,” Sam snapped. “It’s not healthy.”

Steve groaned and sat up. “I thought we agreed if I went to a therapist, you’d stop giving me concerned faces.”

Sam knocked their ankles together. “Hell no. I reserve the right to be concerned about your dumb ass for as long as I want. But point taken.”

Steve stuffed a doughnut in his mouth to keep from saying anything else stupid.

“So,” Sam said, clearly trying to smooth things over. “Maybe you could start volunteering at a raptor sanctuary or something?”

Steve swallowed his food roughly. He didn’t want to talk about the hawk, so he pulled Sam into an awkward, squishing hug because he was both affectionate and a vindictive asshole. Sam struggled to be let go, squawking, and finally resorting to Steve’s kryptonite, tickling.

**\-----**

The next time the hawk joined them in battle, Steve was prepared. He designed the Avenger’s attack plan so that he would be fighting in the open and easily accessible. Natasha had managed to convince him that being a decoy last time had been a bad idea, and Sam was with him for aerial attacks and Clint provided sniper support while she and Tony snuck inside.

As the fighting picked up, Steve didn’t intentionally drop his guard, but if he let the Hydra operatives a little closer to him, then what of it? The hawk hadn’t joined the fight last time until things got dire, and Steve wanted a new friend.

Too late he realized he was being reckless. A Hydra goon damn near cut Steve’s throat with a long knife. That couldn’t be standard issue. Fortunately, the rest of the operatives had chosen tasers and guns, but the man with the knife had snuck close to Steve.

The goshawk descended rapidly with no noise this time. The operative tried to block his face with his arms in defense, but it was too late. The goshawk scratched viciously at the Hydra goon.  

Steve grinned. He couldn’t help himself. “Thanks, buddy,” he called out. The hawk screeched and dove towards Steve, as well, making him have to dive out of the way at the last moment.

“Whoa, Cap!” Sam said through the comm. “You insult that bird’s momma? It does not like you. You need me to take it out?”

“Negative,” Steve said, standing up from a crouched position. The hawk had returned to fighting Hydra operatives, still guarding Steve’s six. “I have a plan.”

Steve bounced his shield off three goons, briefly clearing the area. He reached into a plastic bag in a pouch on his suit and pulled out a strip of meat. “Wanna bite?” he said, holding it up for the hawk to see.

The hawk seemed initially baffled. Perhaps it hadn’t seen prepared meat before? Should Steve have brought a mouse? The thought made him squeamish. The hawk landed a few steps away from Steve but wouldn’t come any closer.

“Sam, can you buy me some time?” Steve said. He needed a couple more minutes to build the hawk’s trust.

The hawk’s interest in the meat increased the longer Steve held it out, but it wouldn’t get any nearer. Steve tossed it on the ground, and the hawk it approached cautiously.

“Please tell me you put a sedative in there,” Clint said.

“I did not drug the meat!” Steve protested. The hawk’s head shot up as though it had understood Steve. “I promise I didn’t,” Steve said to it. Internally he rolled his eyes. The bird didn’t speak human; it was probably responding to his tone of voice.

The hawk gave the meat one more inspection before gobbling it down in a ferocious but undignified way. Steve felt intense satisfaction as the bird ate the meat. “Now you should go,” he said, trying to sound authoritative. “We can take care of this, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

The hawk turned its head to the side and back, and Steve was reminded of his mother staring him down when he came home at night with fresh bruises.

“I’m serious,” Steve said, puffing out his chest and trying to look big and strong. “You can watch if you want.” The bird made a little chittering noise like it was laughing. Steve was undeterred. “Maybe afterward you can visit me in the Tower, and I can get to know you.”

“Please tell me Steve did not just ask that bird on a play date,” Tony said through the comms. Steve grimaced. He thought Tony was on a comms blackout. And, again, birds don’t speak human.

The hawk seemed more amused than anything, but took flight and landed in a nearby tree. Steve lost track of time while fighting, and by the time the base was neutralized, the hawk was gone.

Steve was crushed. They’d had a moment, he knew it. The hawk had eaten his meat and followed his commands.

“Don’t take it too hard,” Sam said on the quinjet ride home. “Maybe you’ll see him at the next fight.”

“I hope not,” Tony grumbled. “One time? One time was hilarious. I may or may not have commissioned a mural of Steve as Snow White with the creatures of the woods doing his bidding.” Steve blushed heavily, hoping Tony was kidding. “But two times is highly suspect. And a third time implies-”

“You’re saying a bird tapped your security network,” Clint said with a grin. “Now I have to get one. Nat?”

Natasha didn’t look back from her position piloting the jet but threw her boot, which hit Clint square in the forehead. Clint rubbed the spot but looked otherwise undeterred.

“But how would…” Steve started to ask. “I mean, would it use its talons or—”

“Please tell me you’re trying to ask Tony about how birds use computers,” Sam said, looking delighted. “This is amazing.”

Steve frowned and slouched down in his seat. “I thought you were on my side.”

Sam laughed loud and deep, and it soothed a little of Steve’s embarrassment. “I can make fun of you and still be on your side.”

“Again, it might still be a mutant,” Tony said, for once ignoring their bickering.

“He,” Steve said. At Tony’s confused expression, Steve continued awkwardly. “I looked it up. The hawk is male.”  

Tony rolled his eyes. “Excuse me for misgendering a wild animal.” He took a drink of coffee then raised his hands excitedly. “Wait, maybe Hydra was experimenting on the hawk to give him advanced intelligence. They’ve tried that before with lots of animals. Maybe this one escaped, and now he has a thirst for justice.”

“Or a thirst for Steve in tights,” Natasha said.

“Most humans do,” Clint added. “Now you’re taking over the animal kingdom!”  

Steve wanted to crawl behind his shield. “This is a terrible conversation.”

“We should be scientific about this,” Tony said. “Try out different variables and see if the hawk joins the battle sooner if Steve wears booty shorts or a mesh shirt.”

“I hate all of you,” Steve said. “Be serious for a moment. Why didn’t the hawk want to come with us?”

Clint shrugged. “Just because it hates Hydra doesn’t mean it likes us. Besides, you can’t have a pet bird if I can’t have one. Unless we share custody. Nat, can I get a bird with Steve?”

Natasha’s other boot hit Clint in the cheek, but he just kept grinning. Steve let the matter drop. He wasn’t willing to share the hawk with anybody.

**\----**

They didn’t have a battle for a few weeks, and Steve found himself growing restless. He ran laps through the city for hours trying to clear his head. Sweaty but still not exhausted, he sat on a bench at the edge of a lake in Central Park and tried to figure out how to make contact with the hawk.

Something landed next to him on the bench, and Steve startled and fell to the ground. It was the hawk, and he didn’t look remotely guilty about having surprised Steve. He wasn’t sure if hawks could laugh, but this one was making a pleased _ki_ sound.

“Yeah, yuck it up, wise guy,” Steve said. He crawled back to his seat. The bird hopped away but stayed on the bench. “I’ve missed seeing you,” Steve said.

The bird tilted his head to the side and looked at him inquiringly.

“I know we don’t know each other and you’re a wild animal and all, but it’s been nice to have someone to watch my six. I haven’t had that in a while.”

The bird scooted nearer, and Steve figured it was worth it looking like a weirdo if the bird came closer.

“Think you might want to be friends? Go running or hunting or whatever birds do?”

The hawk ducked his head down between his shoulders and said nothing. Steve didn’t know what he had been expecting.

“Or we could just sit here like this. This is nice,” Steve said. “What if we just stay here together and enjoy the sunshine?”

They didn’t have their corner of the park to themselves for very long. A couple of children walked by and were excited to see a bird of prey up close. The hawk ducked behind Steve.

“I know I got a big head, pal,” Steve said. “But I think they can still see you.”

“Can I pet your bird, Captain America?” the little girl said.

“Oh, he’s not mine,” Steve said. The hawk pecked him sharply on the shoulder, and Steve jumped. He cleared his throat. “And he’s a little shy. You can wave though.”

She waved her hand, and the goshawk lifted it’s wing awkwardly from behind Steve in response. Once the girl had left, Steve grinned. “You saying you wanna be mine?”

The bird ducked his head to the side but stayed close. The softness of his feathers tickled Steve’s neck. Steve reached back to pet him, but the bird alighted in panic and landed a few feet away in the grass. Steve held his hands up and walked cautiously over.

“I get it. You’re not much for touching. That’s okay. I understand.” The hawk’s little chest moved in and out rapidly, but he appeared to relax at Steve’s words. “What should I call you? I can’t keep calling you the bird in my head.”

The hawk looked extremely unimpressed.

“Okay,” Steve said, trying to sound appeasing. “Something else then? You remind me of my best friend, but he’d skin me alive if I named a bird after him.” The hawk walked closer, its red eyes opened wide. “Oh, you like that? You wanna be named Bucky? He doesn’t want to see me anymore, but I think about him every day.”

The hawk looked impossibly sad and leaned up against Steve. Steve tried to hold himself very still and enjoy the closeness. No one disturbed them in the grass, although one teenager did sneak a picture.

“You ever wanna come to the Tower or something to visit? I could show you around the place?”

The hawk made no noise or movement, and Steve figured that was answer enough. “Maybe we could meet here again sometime?”

The bird nodded, and Steve felt the movement against his side. He stayed there as long as he could, ignoring several phone calls until the bird grew restless and flew away. “See you later, Bucky!” Steve called out. Bucky’s name caught in his throat a little, and Steve had to stifle the sob that always seemed a breath away when he thought of his friend, but it was worth it. He and the hawk were friends.

**\-----**

Three days later, the Avenger’s were unexpectedly called to assemble when a rogue scientist built robots that invaded Central Park. Banner was in South America and Thor was busy on Asgard, so it came down to Steve, Clint, Natasha, Tony, and Sam.

“What is it with scientists and killer robots?” Clint said. Tony pointedly did not respond.  

Steve felt near frantic. Bucky the hawk lived in Central Park now. At least, he was there a lot, and Steve didn’t want him to get hurt.

Once they arrived at the park, Steve charged into the row of robots, ignoring the protests of his teammates.

“Goddammit, Cap,” Tony said. “You don’t have to take them all down by yourself.” His blaster felled two robots at the knees, but they continued to crawl forward. “We just have to keep them occupied until JARVIS figures out how to deactivate them.”

That wasn’t good enough for Steve. He threw himself at a robot and wrenched it’s arm off.

“Are we sure Cap isn’t hulking out?” Clint said. “Captain America doesn’t do that, right?”

Nobody laughed, and Steve just charged in faster. “Fucking robots,” he yelled, knocking another one’s head off with his fists. “Birds live here!”

The silence over the comms was deafening, but Steve was not in the mood to defend himself. The robots somehow looked surprised by Steve’s ferocity, and Steve toppled one to the side and threw it at the others. They fell slowly like AT-AT walkers in Star Wars.

Another smaller bot came up behind him and tased Steve in the kidneys. He was really getting sick of that. Steve heard the alarm call of a hawk. “No,” he said hoarsely, rolling away from the taser and trying to recover his breath.

The hawk scratched at the robot’s face, but the robot was less deterred than human soldiers had been. Around them, the other Avengers had neutralized most of the other robots, but the smaller one continued to fight.

“Get the hawk to move so I can take a shot,” Sam said.

“Go!” Steve yelled. He kicked the robot hard, but it rebounded quickly. It shot out a bolt of electricity that caught the hawk on the wing. The bird shook and fell to the ground. Sam and Tony destroyed the robot immediately.

Steve yanked off his mask and crawled over to the bird. “Natasha, Clint, can somebody get me a towel?” The bird snapped its beak at Steve when he came close. The hawk tried to get to his feet but fell over. “Don’t worry,” Steve said. “We’re gonna get you fixed up. Don’t fight. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Clint returned with a white towel and Steve carefully wrapped the hawk in it. The bird thrashed against him, and Steve hugged him to his chest. “Bucky, stop moving! I’ve got to get you to a vet.”

“Did he just call—” Tony said. Steve removed his comm and threw it to the side.  The bird struggled weakly in Steve’s arms.

“Stay still,  Steve pleaded. It wasn’t working. The bird squirmed, and Steve realized he would have to let him go or the hawk would work itself into a frenzy. Steve put Bucky down, and the bird slowly flopped free of the towel.  

“Baby, please. You gotta let me help you,” Steve said.

The bird walked and half flapped his wings until he made it to a stand of trees. Steve followed him. The hawk lay his head on the ground and went very still, and for a heartbreaking moment, Steve was sure he had died right there. Then the feathers melted away, the bird morphed into a blob of light blue light and finally, Bucky appeared on the ground, sweaty, disheveled, and naked. He had two flesh arms.

Steve stepped toward him, but Bucky held a hand up to stop him. “I can heal myself, but it’s very…tiring. Don’t touch.”

“Bucky?” Steve whispered. It couldn’t be.

“Yeah, you dumbass,” Bucky said. He smiled with his face still resting on the earth. “Don’t act like you didn’t know.”

“I didn’t!”

Bucky narrowed his eyes. “You named the hawk Bucky.”

“Because...” Steve stopped himself. He hadn’t known for sure, but some foolish part of him hoped. “You’re right. I mean, I didn’t know that I knew, but I knew.” Bucky started to shiver, and Steve wished he had something to cover him with. “Do you want me to find some clothes?”

Bucky huffed a laugh. “Oh. I forget sometimes.” He closed his eyes in concentration and a simple black shirt and sweatpants appeared on his body. “It’s part of me,” Bucky explained. “It just looks like clothes.”

“You don’t have to explain now,” Steve said gently. “We can talk about it once we get back to the Tower.”

Bucky pushed himself up to a seated position. He wouldn’t quite catch Steve’s eyes. “I’m not going with you. I hardly remember you.”

“But—”

“Just meet me by our bench tomorrow,” Bucky said. He struggled unsteadily to his feet. “I need some time to think.”

“You’ve had time!”

“And I need a little more,” he said simply. “And you need to think about what you want.”

“I want you,” Steve said, jutting out his chin.

“I’m not him,” Bucky said. “I’m not really even human anymore. Words are hard. Touch is harder.”

“I still want you,” Steve insisted.

Bucky walked deeper into the trees. “Sleep on it, Steve.”

Steve felt more lost than ever as he watched Bucky leave.

**\-----**

Steve went to the bench at Central Park at eight am the next morning. It was a bit silly; Bucky never used to get out of bed before ten unless he had to, but Steve didn’t want to risk missing him. He waited for three hours before Bucky showed up.

Bucky looked soft and comfortable in a light blue cotton t-shirt and faded black jeans. He didn’t greet Steve, just sat quietly beside him.

“I don’t remember you,” Bucky said, looking at the ground.

“Yes, you do,” Steve said. “You wouldn’t have been protecting me if you didn’t.”

Bucky covered his eyes with the palms of his hands. “Fine. I remember some things. Not a lot. There are...gaps.” He sat up and looked at Steve sadly. “I remember caring about you.”

Unsure of what to say, Steve pointed at Bucky’s blue shirt. “Is this you or--”

“Clothes this time,” Bucky said quickly. “For you. Because you like, you know…” He faded out awkwardly.

Steve felt hope surge in his chest. Bucky remembered their first time. He remembered them being together.

“I can’t stay,” Bucky said, dashing Steve’s hopes. “I’m, I’m no good for you. I need you to leave me alone.”

Everyone had said he should let Bucky have space if he asked for it. Sam, Natasha, his entirely too expensive therapist: they all agreed. Steve didn’t.

“I can’t do that,” Steve said.

A complicated look crossed Bucky’s face, settling on wariness. Steve leaned closer. “Til the end of the line, remember?” His voice broke on the last word, and Bucky’s expression softened.

The moment held, and Steve sensed he needed to nail this down before Bucky changed his mind. “When can I see you next?”

Bucky studied him, some of the sternness of the goshawk still on his face, and Steve looked right back. Finally, Bucky’s lips curled into a small smile. “Alright. If you can find me, you can see me.”

Steve would take what he could get. “How will I find you?”

“Find me, Steve,” Bucky repeated. With that, he stood and returned to his hawk form, leaving a pile of clothes behind him.

It was a kindness. That night, Steve fisted Bucky’s shirt, held it up to his face, and inhaled deeply. He worked his hand over his cock slowly, squeezing his eyes shut and pretending Bucky was there beside him, a warm line against his body. Patient now in a way that he didn’t use to be, Steve tried to slow down and make it last. It didn’t work. He had never been able to go slow with Bucky. Steve came with a gasp and his face buried in Bucky’s shirt.

As he came down from his orgasm, Steve felt himself teetering on the edge of melancholy but decided to fight it. _Find me_ was a challenge and an invitation, and Steve had no intention of backing down now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this weirdness!
> 
> Come say hi to us on Tumblr! Artist ([Esaael](http://esaael.tumblr.com)) and Author ([tinybearswithjetpacks](https://tinybearswithjetpacks.tumblr.com))
> 
> Tumblr link for [this chapter](https://tinybearswithjetpacks.tumblr.com/post/180565057539/menagerie-chptr-1-caw-caw-mother-fucker)


	2. Otter Nonsense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky meets the members of Unity and discovers some of his new abilities. Bucky and Steve meet up and go for a swim. Featuring otter!Buck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, look at this amazing art by [@esaael](http://esaael.tumblr.com) ([Sari Laitenen](https://www.flickr.com/photos/149607612@N05/) on Flckr)! I can't even! I love her Otter!Buck so much. He's so beautiful and sassy!  
> And huge thanks to [@kat_atomic](https://kat-atomic.tumblr.com) ([Parrannnah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parrannnah/pseuds/Parrannnah) on AO3) for being an amazing beta and friend!
> 
> Tags are updated, so be sure to check those out, if you have concerns. This story is mostly happiness and fluff.
> 
> Note to otter lovers: I mixed traits of sea otters and river otters together for this Bucky, so let’s magic hand wave over the inconsistencies.

Bucky’s heart pounded in his skinny chest, and he took a painful breath in. After evading pursuit for months, someone had outsmarted him, and Bucky was cornered by three men in full body armor at the entrance to the alley. Bucky didn’t want to die, strictly speaking, but he’d be happy to no longer exist, to flex out of existence. Being taken alive wasn’t an option.

Steve wouldn’t agree. Then again, Steve wasn’t filthy and living in a cardboard box in a back alley in Bogata. How the men found him, he didn’t know. Dimly he realized someone else was in the alley—a girl, reed thin and no older than seven. She had thick, black, curly hair—it reminded him of his mother’s hair. She was plastered to the back wall and terrified.

The realization hit Bucky like a bucket of ice water, shocking enough to get him to struggle to his feet. They weren’t after him; they were after her. She was the target. And he’d let a Hydra agent shoot him in the head if it came to it, but he’d be damned if he let this little girl get taken. Bucky stepped between the goons and the girl. The men smirked at him, clearly not expecting him to be up to the challenge of fighting all three of them. Bucky couldn’t say he was surprised. His hair hung greasy around his face and his clothes were dirty. He hadn’t eaten in days. He wasn’t gaunt, but the room spun whenever he stood up.

The serum was eating him alive. Or, he guessed, causing his own body to eat itself, but Bucky wasn’t picky about explanations. It felt better to blame it on the serum than to blame it on himself. Less personal. Although, his own body was impersonal to him. He didn’t feel connected to it, to himself as the owner of the body. To anything, really.

“Leave now and we won’t kill you,” the Merc in front said. One Merc let out a disappointed sound, and the first man grinned. “I didn’t mean it.”

Bucky didn’t think. Didn’t plan his actions. His body moved without his permission, his mind a mere observer. The sound of his metal fist connecting with the Merc’s jaw left a sickening crunch. It was oddly satisfying. His body was doing something good. He hadn’t considered that to be possible.

The second Merc was more prepared but still hadn’t caught on to Bucky being the Asset. Must not be Hydra, Bucky figured. Still not surprising. The world was full of awful people. Bucky included.

Steve wouldn’t agree with him on that either, but Steve was a sore spot in Bucky’s hazy memories, an achy tooth he pressed on with his tongue when he was feeling melodramatic. Bucky tried to block it out as his body punched the second merc, knocking him unconscious. The third fled. Bucky didn’t want to hurt him, but he also didn’t want the area to be flooded with backup. He grabbed a pistol from one of the downed mercs and threw it at the escaping one. It hit him in the head, knocking him out.

Bucky turned to the little girl and crouched down. She took a tentative step forward, seeming more curious than terrified. That couldn’t be right. Bucky was a terrifying creature.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Bucky said. “Shit. You probably don’t speak English. I, I know a little Spanish but my brain’s not so good. Um, words are... hard.”

She cocked her head to the side, not understanding, but responding to his voice. Some part of Bucky’s mind released alarm bells. If three men had been sent after this little girl, maybe he should be afraid. But Bucky was exhausted, and the choice was simple: he chose to trust her. She held out her hand, and Bucky took it with his flesh one. He could feel every little bone of her fingers, thin like he might crush them on accident.

She pulled him along behind her, and their joined hands burned hot followed by a flare of bright blue light. She was strong for a little one, or maybe Bucky was just exhausted and weak? They came to a clearing, and a woman came running over.

“Drop her hand!” she yelled. Lights danced behind his eyes. The hunger and fatigue were catching up with him. He needed to rest, he decided. Just a little break. He fell to his knees, barely feeling the hit of bone on concrete. The little girl didn’t release his hand.

“Hurt,” she said. “Urtyal a hourt s aal. Olart ee hall.”

Either she was speaking another language, or Bucky’s brain damage was worse than he thought. Steve wouldn’t think that was funny, but Steve could, well, Bucky would think of something once he had a nap.

The woman seemed surprised by the girl’s words. “You tried to protect her?” she said to him.

Bucky nodded, he was listing to one side, held up now by the girls uncommonly good strength. “Yes ma’am,” he said because Winifred Barnes raised a gentleman.

“You’re hurt,” the woman said, looking him over for injuries. “And hungry.”

Bucky tried to shrug, but that pulled harder on the girl, and it left him only able to half-nod in agreement. Another person came over, fuzzier, and Bucky tried to listen to their whispered conversation. Then the woman looked around quickly and transformed into a cart. Bucky blinked his eyes, certain he was hallucinating. A man loaded him into the cart, and the girl turned into a blanket to hide him.

It wasn’t his worse hallucination, honestly. Probably not even his weirdest. Before he passed out, the last thing Bucky wished was that she had turned herself into a ham sandwich. He could really stand to eat something.

\------

Bucky came to in a dimly lit room still wearing his filthy clothes. He wasn’t hooked up to a chair, that was a bonus, but he had no idea where he was. The room smelled fresh and clean, like laundry dried in the sun. If this was Hydra, they had changed their MO.

Outside there were sounds of laughter, and although Bucky had spent the last eight months hiding from people, he felt drawn to the sound. Standing up, his legs felt unsteady like he was walking on a boat in choppy seas. He needed to rest, but the pull toward people was strong, unusual for him. The situation couldn’t get much weirder, so he followed a path toward the laughter and what he soon saw was a fire.

Roughly thirty adults and children were seated on brightly colored mats in a large circle. They quieted when he approached, and he was met with smiles from all of them. Bucky was unaccustomed, and he was sure his responding smile looked like a grimace like his muscles didn’t remember how to make the expression. An old woman with long, curly gray hair spotted him and motioned for him to come to sit by her.

“I’m Esme,” the woman said, once Bucky had seated. “Welcome to Unity.” It was probably a cult, but damned if it wasn’t the friendliest bunch of cultists Bucky had ever met, and he’d met plenty. Several other people introduced themselves, including the young girl from earlier, Audra. Many of them had different color skin tones, some pale as moonlight, others olive tones, and some inky black. Their words didn’t sound like English, but somehow Bucky understood them. He recognized the woman from Bogata.

“You’re not a cart,” he blurted out. The members of the circle chuckled, and Bucky’s face flamed in embarrassment. “Sorry. I must have dreamed that.”

Esme smiled at him, the wrinkles at the corner of her eyes deepening. “You were awake. Jessa is quite skilled at her work. We prefer to transform into living plants or creatures, but occasionally other things are needed. We are shifters, you see.” Bucky’s eyes widened in surprise. Esme leaned back and smiled at him. “There is much to explain. We will start with this: you saved a young one at great risk to yourself. I hope you know how rare and special that is.” Bucky glanced at Audra who smiled shyly at him, before burying her face in her mother’s sleeve. “Those men have been trying to capture one of our kind for many years and lured her away from the others. You are one of us now.”

“I didn’t get to thank you before,” Jessa said, “for saving my daughter.”

Bucky gave a weak thumbs up and immediately wanted to facepalm. What a dope. At least Steve wasn’t here to see that; Bucky would never have heard the end of it. Jessa’s answered him with a thumbs up and a soft smile.  

“I’m sure you have many questions,” Esme said, “least of all, how we are all understanding one another.” Bucky nodded and Esme continued. “It is a tale we like to tell. Perhaps the young one you met could start.”

Audra grinned and stood up, shyness gone now that she wasn’t talking only to Bucky. As she spoke, she walked around the circle making eye contact with the others. “In the time of all beginning, when Great Mother gave birth to all humans, animals, plants, and sea creatures, the earth was filled with righteous life.”

“Riotous,” Esme corrected.

“Riotous,” Audra said. “Right. But fighting soon sprung up between humans, among animals, even the plants competed for sunlight and water, and the creatures of the deep fought one another for supremacy.”

“Well done, Audra,” Esme said. “What happened next?”

Audra picked up a handful of what looked like chalk and threw it in the fire. Bright blue burst out of the flames. “Great Mother grieved that her children had turned against one another, and so she created Unity. Long-lived, that we might know the truth of the plants and animals, humans and sea creatures alike.” Audra took her seat in the ring, and Esme picked up where she left off.

“We are few in number; all that is left of our connection to the Great Mother. Each member of Unity is born with an innate knowledge of the language of her tongue and the history of all the Mother’s children since the great beginning. We are a link between her children, able to assume different forms, but pulled to commune with one another. We hold the memories of creatures long dead, bring hope to the world and carry forth our love for all things.” Esme stood and held out her hands. “The story has been told,” she said. “Let us now eat and share fellowship.”

The members of the circle clapped and walked over to a table laden with foods of all varieties. Yeah, definitely the friendliest cult members he’d ever met.

Bucky felt rooted to his spot, too stunned to speak. Esme crouched down beside him, not touching him, which he appreciated. She pointed at the others. “They sensed you were being born, and those that could have come to be with us and support you.” Bucky’s eyes fell on Audra, so at ease with the other members of Unity, and Esme followed his eye line. “Please understand,” she said, “most people are born into Unity or on the rare occasion someone is changed, they go through a ceremony and training. We do not bring others into our group without asking them. Audra sensed your distress, wanted to help and gave you the ability to shift. She did not realize the consequences.” She nodded her head toward the table. “Come, eat. You must be hungry.”  

The members of Unity filled their plates and returned to the mats to eat in a large circle. Bucky stood and wobbled on his feet, and Jessa encouraged him to sit. “I will get you a plate and something to drink. It’s the least I can do to thank you. Members of Unity take care of one another.”

Jessa brought him a plate filled with different fruits and wafers. Bucky hesitated and hated himself for it, his shoulders rising. It wasn’t that he didn’t like these people, per se, it was just that for many years cruelty had marred his life, and his caution had helped him stay safe. As if sensing his thoughts, Esme took a bite of papaya off his plate and chewed it. “No poison,” she said.

Bucky’s shoulders relaxed, and he ate his way through the food on his plate. It was so delicious he felt as though all the fruit he had eaten in the past had been unripe. Flavors burst on his tongue; cool liquid soothed his parched throat; the wafers melted on his tongue. He ate ravenously, and the people in the circle all seemed pleased by this.

He had so many things he wanted to ask, but his brain supplied him with: “Why Columbia?”

“Good question, young one,” Esme said. “The entire world is ours to roam. We are not always here and not always in these forms. We have gathering places all over the earth.”

Bucky wanted to ask more questions, wanted to learn everything he could. He felt home in a way he hadn’t before, but his stomach churned and he clutched it, afraid he would throw up in front of all these nice people.

“Do not worry about that,” Jessa said, sensing Bucky’s distress. “No one’s good at digesting food at first. You would not be the first one to make sick at a meal.”

“Perhaps you should lay back down,” Esme said. Bucky felt a pang of grief. He did not want to be away from these people, cultists or no. “Don’t worry. I will join you as will other elders of the Unity.” She stood, reached out her hand, and pulled him to his feet. Despite his hesitancy to touch, Bucky leaned on her for support. The others waved to Bucky and sent words of encouragement.

Once they returned to the small house, Esme gestured for Bucky to lie on the bed.

“Esme,” he whispered. “I need to tell you something.” He made himself meet her eyes. It was now or never, and he didn’t know if he’d be able to gather the courage again. She and the others had been kind to him, gentle in a way he didn’t deserve. “I’m, um, dangerous,” he said. “I don’t mean to. Sometimes I can’t control it.”

Esme pulled a chair near the bed and sat down. “Do you think those men would have been chasing Audra if she weren’t dangerous?” At Bucky’s blank look, Esme’s face softened. “Do not worry, you will not hurt me in any way I can’t heal.”

“They experimented on me.” Bucky closed his eyes. It wasn’t something he liked to think about, but Esme needed to know. “Needles, brainwashing in a chair. I’ve hurt people. I’m, I’m broken. Evil.” Rotten to the core, he thought, but no need to hammer home the point.

Esme ran a hand through his hair, and despite his shame, Bucky leaned into the touch. “I have been on this earth ten thousand years,” she said. “I sense in you an uncommon strength, but no danger. You fight to protect, Bucky. Not because you enjoy it.”

“Ten thousand?” Bucky said, so ready to fall asleep but full of questions. “How old is Audra?”

“Not much older than you. One hundred and twelve this year.” She removed Bucky’s shoes and pulled a blanket over his body. “Rest, young one. It is painful to be born. More so because of this.” She ran a finger along Bucky’s metal arm. “But we will be with you the whole way.”

\-----

The sunlight beat down on Bucky’s feathers balanced by the cool air coming up from the river. He could float like this for hours, content, mind peaceful, but there was a human on the ground jumping up and down and calling his name.

Steve. Bucky had missed him. His memories were coming together. Esme was helping him piece together his past. It hurt to be away from her, from the other members of Unity. But Esme said all members of Unity took time away from each other and when they returned shared knowledge of the outside world. She had taught him many forms and cautioned him to not try new forms without the elders’ guidance.

“What could happen?” he had asked.

“Sometimes someone transforms and never comes back,” Esme said. “Do not worry. Great Mother watches over them.”

Bucky descended in slow circles, eager to see Steve but enjoying making him wait for a little. Steve looked good, vibrating out of his skin with eagerness and a broad smile. He had grown a beard, thick and darker than the hair on his face. It suited him.

Bucky concentrated and transformed into his human form. Steve’s eyes bugged out and Bucky looked around for the threat before he realized he was naked. “Sorry,” he said, manifesting a pair of shorts. “I keep forgetting.” Esme had seen him naked too many times to count, but at ten thousand years old, she reminded him she was rarely surprised anymore.

“No problem,” Steve said, pink coloring his cheeks. It reminded Bucky of what octopuses did for defense.

Steve was standing on a large boulder near the edge of the water, and Bucky took a few bounding steps toward him. Missing Steve differed from missing the members of Unity. Missing Steve felt dangerous, powerful. It thrilled and terrified him.

“You’re a hard man to find,” Steve said, licking his lips like he might devour Bucky in an instant. What a goof. Maybe Bucky should have manifested a shirt.

“I’m not a man,” Bucky said. “At least not all the time.” Steve didn’t seem to pick up on his message, but Bucky could explain it to him later. Later, huh, that was a thought. Thirty seconds with Steve and Bucky was already planning another visit.

“It’s good to see you, Buck,” Steve said. He didn’t approach, uncertain of what to do, and that, more than anything, gave Bucky the courage to jump closer until he was on the same boulder as Steve.

“You, too,” he breathed. “I, uh, remember you. Pieces. Some things are stronger than others.” Steve looked so happy at that, yet with a chasm of longing that Bucky wasn’t sure he could fill.

Steve held open his arms and reached for Bucky, and Bucky jumped back a pace, some of his ease fading. “No, thank you,” he said, wincing as Steve’s face fell. Bucky took a deep breath and extended a hand to shake; he had been working on getting comfortable with simple touch. Steve took his hand with a bittersweet smile. “I’m, um, trying. Things are hard now that used to be easy.” Words that came out so clearly in his mind, struggled to make their way past his lips. Esme said it was a consequence of his brain damage and trauma and that the shifts would help him heal, but at that moment, Bucky didn’t care why he was screwed up, he just wished he could explain it to Steve.  

“I know,” Steve said softly. “I love you however you are.”

It seemed too good to be true, and Bucky felt his whole body flush with nervousness and delight. “What do you want?”

“Just to spend time with you, sweetheart.”

Bucky’s whole body tensed at the endearment. He liked it. Loved it really. But it was too much and too fast. Steve Rogers never did take things slowly. “Perhaps we could swim?”

Steve’s face registered surprise. “You’re not just a hawk?”

Bucky tilted his head to the side. “I’m part of Unity now. I have the memory of all creation.” He could recite the birth story, too, but he didn’t think Steve was ready for that. “Don’t, uh, tell anyone.”

Steve nodded, somehow bleeding earnest in that small movement. Bucky wanted to smoosh him and also to rub their faces together. “I promise, Buck.”

Bucky felt like squirming under all that honesty. He couldn’t handle it. He took a step away from Steve, jumped into the water and transformed into an otter.

Bucky loved his otter form. Otters were playful in a way he wasn’t in human form; they were eager and curious.

Bucky stretched out his long torso and did barrel rolls. He felt as smooth as silk, graceful as a ballerina, gliding through the water. Also, and, more importantly, rocks! There were smooth, shiny rocks at the bottom of the water. He swam down, selected three of the very smoothest and came back to the top of the water. He swam to a shallow area, laid on his backs and juggled the rocks around on his plush stomach. Maybe he should share his rocks with Steve. Where was Steve?

Steve was busy wrestling himself out of his pants. The big dope had been in such a hurry to get undressed that he hadn’t untied his shoes and was stuck. He noticed Bucky watching him and grinned with a smile so bright Bucky thought he might get a sunburn. Bucky threw a rock at him.

Steve laughed and didn’t seem to mind, yanking off his shoes and disentangling them from his pants. Bucky dropped his rocks and swam over to him. Steve had a bag. How had he not noticed this before? He needed to know what was in that bag immediately.

“Hiya, Buck,” Steve said warmly, preparing to step into the water. Bucky ignored him. There were pressing bag matters to attend to. He walked onto the boulder right past Steve.

“Whatcha doing?”

Bucky nosed at the bag. Interesting. It smelled like sweat and maybe a snack, and some metallic smelling things like a cell phone or a tablet. He pulled at the zipper and opened the bag, taking everything out one piece at a time.

“Buck?” Steve said. “There’s no tracker or anything. Is that what you’re looking for?”

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/149607612@N05/32955552138/in/dateposted/)

Bucky looked at him and tilted his head to the side. It had not occurred to him. The bag was a mystery. He pulled out a sweatshirt of Steve’s and happily began chewing on the fringe. Very interesting. Then he found a wrapped granola bar. Logically, human Bucky knew he could pull it open, but in his otter form, Bucky decided it would be better to nom onto the plastic instead.

“Whoa! That’s not good for you,” Steve said, trying to pry the granola bar away from him.

Bucky made a plaintive chirping noise in protest, and Steve removed his hands, pressing his lips together to avoid laughing.

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll just go swimming by myself,” Steve said with a mischievous grin.

Swimming! How had Bucky forgotten about that? He dropped the granola bar and ran past Steve and dove into the water. Steve swam in after him, playing chase. That was cute. He’d never catch Bucky unless he let him. Oooh. There were fish down there. Maybe Steve would like a fish to eat? Bucky nosed at the bottom of the river, his long whiskers feeling for prey.

He felt a tug on his back paw and turned to see Steve grinning like a loon under the water. Steve took off swimming the other direction, and Bucky gave him a few moments just to even things up a little. Bucky caught him almost and swam away again. Steve could hold his breath for a long time, but he swam like a steamboat, fast but with no turning capacity. Bucky swam to the top of the water, flipped around and dove again, finally slowing so Steve could catch him again.

Steve crowed in victory and swam away. This time, Steve escaped to the boulder, using his human form to his advantage. Tricky. Bucky could move quickly on land and followed him, but Steve jumped to another boulder, and that was just cheating. Hmmm. Bucky scratched his chin and Steve watched him in delight.

“You’re cute like this.”

Bucky bared his front sharp teeth, just because he didn’t have another way to get Steve to stop being sappy, but Steve just burst out in laughter.

“Oh my god, that’s adorable.”

Bucky jumped into the river and knocked water up onto Steve, who dodged it expertly. Steve jumped over Bucky and into the water, swimming with all his might. It was, well, it was cute is what it was. Who knew a big tank of muscle could be cute? Bucky swam after him and caught him by pulling on his foot.

They played like this until Steve was panting and needing a break. Bucky didn’t need a break, super serum river otters could swim forever, but he liked watching the rosiness of exertion on Steve’s cheeks and the shininess of his lips from the water. Bucky liked shiny things.

“That was great,” Steve said, treading water. “I missed you so much.” His voice hitched, but he kept going. “I don’t feel like me when you’re not around.”

Bucky made a low cooing noise in response, hoping Steve would understand, and Steve grinned. “Thanks, buddy.” He bit his lip. “I know you don’t want to touch, but could I hold you while you’re like this? Is it easier?”

It was a lot to ask. He only barely let Esme touch him and even then mostly when he was in pain or needed help. He felt a deep maternal safety with her.

Bucky shook his head, and Steve’s lip wobbled. He hated to disappoint him, but Esme taught him to take his recovery slowly. Scratching his chin in thought, Bucky had an idea. He laid back on his back and floated with his belly to the sky. Steve watched him, not taking the hint. Brilliant military strategist and all that. Bucky came upright again and then repeated the movement. Steve stared at him this time but didn’t figure it out.

Bucky swam underwater and head butted Steve’s legs until Steve caught on and floated on his back. Bucky swam up next to him and reached for Steve’s hand, his paw encircling two fingers. Steve looked at the entwined hand and paw and beamed. It was too much, Bucky splashed him with water, and Steve sputtered.

“Jerk.”

Bucky settled into the water, pleased with himself. They floated like this until Bucky got hungry. It was time to eat a fish. He found one, a nice juicy trout, and brought it to the surface. Steve swam to his boulder, and Bucky came up after him, fish in mouth.

“Hey that looks tasty,” Steve said.

Bucky felt guilty. Should he have offered some to Steve? Or caught him his own fish? He held the fish out and Steve grinned at him. “Nah, you keep it, buddy. I’ll eat the granola bar.”

Bucky munched happily, enjoying the feel of the sunlight drying his fur. He wanted to go roll in the grass on the shore, really fluff out his fur, but he and Steve needed to talk. Once they were done eating, he transformed back into his human form.

“That was fun,” he said. Steve’s answering look was fond, his eyes crinkling. The sunlight had pinked up his skin. “You have to get out of the sun if you don’t want to get burned.”

Steve looked down at his shoulder. “Yeah, the serum didn’t fix that,” he said ruefully. “Goes away fast though.”

Bucky crouched down. The visit had been good, but he felt tired, stretched thin. There was so much unsaid between them. “You can’t take me in.”  

“I wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart,” Steve said as if it was as easy as that. Steve hazarded a few steps closer, pleased when Bucky didn’t move back. “I’ll be whatever you want, Buck. I want you in my life.”

Bucky reached for him, his fingers cool against the sun-warmed skin of Steve’s chest. “I remember you hating to go slow, is that right?”

Steve nodded, clenching his fists to keep from touching Bucky back. “You used to say I was ‘goddamned reckless and dramatic’, but it was when you used my whole name, I knew I’d stepped in it.”

“I had a temper, then?”

Steve nodded again with a wry smile. “Yeah, but never as bad as mine. I might have driven you to it.”

Bucky angled his body away and dropped his hand. “I don’t feel things so strongly anymore,” he said. “Don’t know if it’s because of Hydra or being a shapeshifter. Part of me still feels like I’m waking from a long nightmare, and the waking world hasn’t snapped into focus. Go slow.”

“Whatever you need, Buck.”

Bucky bit his lip and took the plunge. Now that he was with Steve, he didn’t think he’d be able to handle long periods apart. Steve felt like sunshine and home—all the things Bucky had denied himself. He didn’t know how Unity and Steve could both fit into his life, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try. “I’ll visit you in New York.”

Steve smiled, giddy and delighted. “Really? That’s great. Do you need a ride? I have Tony’s jet. I mean, I guess you could fly there on your own, but maybe you get tired sometimes, right?”

What a sweet dope. “I’ll be there in a week or two, okay? Don’t tell anyone you’ve found me.”

“Of course,” Steve said. Bucky could tell he wanted to touch, to reach out and brush their lips together. Bucky wanted that, but it was too soon.

“See ya later, Stevie,” he said. He jumped into the air and transformed into his goshawk form. Time to return to Unity.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this goofy story! I hope you enjoyed it. :)


	3. Mountain Dwelling Fairy Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As it turned out, Steve loved cat Bucky. He loved his toe beans and his pink nose. He loved how cat Bucky would rub against him and demand cuddles. Human form Bucky didn’t like Steve to touch him yet. He wanted to be the one doing the touching, to ease himself back into it after so many years of harsh treatment, but things were different in his cat form.
> 
> Bucky had no interest in the numerous toys Steve had ordered, but he liked straws and pieces of tinfoil, and Steve loved to watch him chase after them and pounce. Having a cat around was an endless source of fun and cuteness. The first time Bucky stretched out, front paws on the ground and furry bottom in the air, Steve suddenly understood why half the internet was cute pictures of cats. 
> 
> For my MCU Kink Bingo square: Claws

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all look at the TWO amazing pieces of art by [@esaael](http://esaael.tumblr.com). I can't even compliment her enough. So beautiful and the perfect fluffy Bucky!
> 
> And huge thanks to [@kat-atomic](https://kat-atomic.tumblr.com) ([parannnah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parrannnah/pseuds/Parrannnah) on AO3) for all her help with brainstorming and editing. The best. She's the best. 
> 
> Finally, a big shoutout to the mods of [MCU Kink Bingo](https://mcukinkbingo.tumblr.com)! I would never have come up with this shapeshifter story if they hadn't given me a fantastic bingo card!

“Ooh, Steve’s going on a date,” Clint called out as Steve walked through the Avenger’s common area the next morning. Steve thought he hadn’t overdone it; he had only worn nice slacks and a soft sweater. In contrast, Clint and Tony sprawled on the couch hair akimbo and clothes messy.

“Nope. He’s going to church,” Tony said with his arm over his eyes. “Not even grandpas go on dates this early.”   

Steve looked sternly at them—his best option for deflecting their attention. “How are you already up?”

Clint toasted the coffee cup in Tony’s hand sloppily. “Haven’t gone to bed yet. Tony made new ‘sploding arrows.”

Tony cackled, apparently alcohol had been involved in the experimentations. Steve felt both a lecture and a headache coming on unbidden.

“He’s going to do the Captain America voice on us,” Tony faux-whispered.

Steve groaned. “You ruin it when you do that.”

Clint and Tony slapped no look high fives.

“Seriously, Capsicle,” Tony said, squinting his eyes open, “where are you going?”

Despite Natasha’s attempts to train him, Steve was still a bad liar. “Just going to adopt a cat,” he said, his voice too high.  

“Then why are you dressed like you’re a deacon,” Tony said accusingly. Clint snorted, and Tony looked at him and shrugged. “What? I haven’t gone to church much. I was sticking with a theme.”

Steve shifted on his feet, ready to be out of the room five minutes ago. “Just want to make sure they know I’m serious about pet care.”  

Tony guffawed. “Do that thing where you stick out your chest and stare in the middle distance, and they’ll give you every cat in the building. People love that. I mean, not me. I hate it, but people.”

Tony and Clint fell to giggles, and Steve exercised the better part of valor while they were distracted.

Once Steve reached the designated bench in Central Park, he could hardly sit still. He twisted this way and that, certain he looked like a toddler who had to pee. He couldn’t help it. Bucky was coming! After all that searching and hoping, Bucky was going to stay with him. Well, Bucky had said visit, but Steve had complete confidence in his powers of persuasion.

Steve heard a plaintive meow and looked over at the fishpond to find a tabby begging for food from a couple. Should Steve have brought food? He didn’t think of that. Surely Bucky would have specified it in his message. His instructions had been very particular.

“Here kitty,” Steve called out. The cat jogged over toward him hopefully. Steve held out a hand, and the cat sniffed it imperiously. The cat was cute, a little generic looking, but then Steve wasn’t an expert on cats. Steve reached a hand under the belly of the cat and picked it up, rubbing long strokes down his orange fur. “Hi, Buck. I’m so happy to see you. I’ve missed you. I think about you—”

“That’s not me,” Bucky said from behind him. Steve yelped, and the cat jumped off his lap and ran away.

“Jesus, Buck.” Steve grabbed his chest like a dame in a silent movie.

“Why did you think it was me?” There was hurt in Bucky’s voice, poorly hidden.

Steve knew he’d already screwed up, but despite it, he couldn’t help feeling thrilled. Bucky looked so soft and comfortable in a navy blue sweatshirt and his hair pulled up into a loose bun. He shrugged and gave Bucky a lopsided smile. “You said you would be in cat form in your message, and then I saw a cat, so…”

“Is that what I look like to you?”

Shit. Shit. Steve cursed his big mouth. He ran a hand distractedly through his hair scrambling for the right words. “I mean, you can turn into anything, right? You could even look like me or anybody, so…”

Bucky sat on the bench, his shoulders rounded forward. “Esme says the sign of a true friend is that they know your face no matter your form.”

“I’m a true friend,” Steve said softly, resisting the urge to comfort Bucky physically. “It’s only that this stuff is new to me.”

Bucky’s shoulders relaxed at that. “I guess I shouldn’t have expected you to know everything,” Bucky said. It looked like it pained him to talk, but he soldiered on. “Members of Unity, that’s my people, can take many forms, cat, bird, human, but it’s not like a costume. It’s me. And I look like this as a human. I have one of every form if that makes sense.”

“I’ll do better, Buck, I promise,” Steve said, trying to project earnestness with every pore.

Bucky’s mouth threatened a smile. “You don’t gotta apologize. I should have warned you.”

“So,” Steve said, scooting a little closer. “Is cat you as handsome as human you?”

Bucky blushed and bit his lip. “When’d you get to be such a sweet talker?”

“Learned from the best.” Their eyes met, and the moment stretched out between them. It felt like a time for grand romantic revelations where Steve would brush a strand of Bucky’s hair behind his ear and lean in for a kiss. The credits would roll and happily ever after would come. Predictably, Bucky read Steve’s mind and averted his eyes.

“Esme wants to talk to you.”

Steve tried to hide his crestfallen expression. “Oh. Who’s Esme?”

“The leader of Unity,” Bucky said. “She’s going to meet us here to explain things.”

“Why can’t you tell me yourself?” Steve said, trying for calm but sore at the need for an intermediary.

“It’s hard to explain. I mean, it’s new to me, too.”

An old woman cleared her throat, and Steve looked up. He hadn’t even heard her approach. Despite her small size, there was something ancient and formidable about her. She held out her hand. “Steve, nice to meet you. I’m Esme.”

Steve shook her hand and hoped she hadn’t overheard him complaining. Winifred Barnes had loved Steve, treated him like her own son, and Steve felt both powerful need to impress Esme and suspicion that she had so much influence on Bucky.

Esme sat down on one side of Bucky. “You should know, Steve, that the elders of Unity were against Bucky’s visit here.”

Steve immediately felt his hackles rise. Who was she to keep Bucky from him? If Bucky had escaped from Hydra and stumbled into a cult, Steve would be seriously disappointed. He didn’t want to punch this nice old lady, but he would if it got Bucky free. “Why?”

“Learning to safely shift takes many years, and Bucky has only recently been born.” She interlaced her fingers with Bucky’s, and Bucky squeezed back. “He needs to be with his people to learn our ways.”

Steve gritted his teeth, holding in a few choice replies. Bucky was _his_ people. Besides, Esme was getting his hand holding! Steve wanted to be the one holding Bucky’s hand.

“We have allowed it,” Esme continued, “because it is important for Bucky to make his choices, and because he has promised to return to Unity when he is ready.”

“And what if he wants to stay,” Steve said roughly. He was losing all chance at impressing her, but, at this point, Steve didn’t care.

“Steve,” Bucky chided. “I’m sorry, Esme. He’s like this sometimes. I remember that.”

“I don’t like other people to speak for you,” Steve said.  

“I asked her to,” Bucky hissed. He turned away from Steve and looked at Esme. “I shouldn’t have come.”

Esme put two hands on Bucky’s shoulders, and he stilled. They leaned their heads together and Esme whispered things to him that Steve couldn’t hear even with his enhanced hearing.

At length, Esme said, “It is still very hard for him to talk. The transition is overwhelming, and because of the trauma of his captors…” She paused and patted Bucky’s face gently. “We are fortunate he speaks at all.”

Steve felt her words like a punch to the gut. She was right. Sam had warned him about the severity of Bucky’s trauma, but Steve had hoped things would be different once they were together.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said. “I shouldn’t get so—”

“Jealous?” Esme said. She smiled at him, and it softened the statement.

“I just haven’t seen him in a long time, and… I’ve missed him.”

“I understand,” Esme said. “It will be my turn to miss him.” She spoke to Bucky. “We will meet again in Unity.”

“In Unity,” Bucky echoed.

Esme walked away, and Bucky watched her until she was out of sight.

Steve cleared his throat. This wasn’t exactly the glowing reunion he’d hoped for, but Bucky was beside him and that was all that mattered. He reached under the bench. “I brought a towel and a box like you asked.”

Bucky stared intently at the box as though he were talking himself into something. “You didn’t tell anyone?”

“No,” Steve replied.

“And you disabled monitoring in your apartment?”

“JARVIS can no longer track things in my space. Tony thinks I’m a ‘paranoid old man,’ but he agreed to my terms.”

Bucky smiled and leaned against Steve. “Thanks, Steve.”

Steve forced himself to hold still even though he was vibrating with happiness. “Of course, Sweetheart.”

Bucky smiled at Steve, something small and private. He looked around to make sure no one was watching and slowly transformed into a cat in a flash of blue light.

Steve immediately knew the cat was Bucky. He wasn’t sure how, but the cat projected an innate Bucky-ness. He had beautiful, long, thick grey hair, vivid blue eyes ringed with black, and a regal bearing. And he was big, easily the biggest cat Steve had ever seen.  

“You look amazing,” Steve said in awe. “Like some kind of mountain-dwelling fairy cat.”

Bucky purred at the compliment and then focused his attention on the box and sniffed it with interest.

Steve winced, the box was much too small for such a large cat. But Bucky jumped in, turned around several times, tucked in his mountainous fluff and impossibly settled himself in the space.

“If I fits, I sits,” Steve murmured. Cat Bucky didn’t roll his eyes, but Steve felt the sass radiating through him all the same.

—

Getting into the Tower went smoothly, and Steve managed to avoid anyone but JARVIS seeing cat Bucky. Once they were in the apartment, Steve expected Bucky to transform back into his human form, but Bucky seemed content to stay a cat for several days. It was unexpected but nice to have Bucky’s gentle presence with him.

As it turned out, Steve loved cat Bucky. He loved his toe beans and his pink nose. He loved how cat Bucky would rub against him and demand cuddles. Human form Bucky didn’t like Steve to touch him yet. He wanted to be the one doing the touching, to ease himself back into it after so many years of harsh treatment, but things were different in his cat form.

Bucky had no interest in the numerous toys Steve had ordered, but he liked straws and pieces of tinfoil, and Steve loved to watch him chase after them and pounce. Having a cat around was an endless source of fun and cuteness. The first time Bucky stretched out, front paws on the ground and furry bottom in the air, Steve suddenly understood why half the internet was cute pictures of cats. 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/149607612@N05/33372758538/in/album-72157707066444045/)

The other half of the internet was free porn, which Steve had explored before getting squicked out and feeling the need to sanitize his computer. His therapist had assured him that there was better, more responsibly made porn out there, but Steve had sworn the stuff off completely. It wasn't a huge loss, his eidetic memory meant he could replay sexy times with Bucky or Peggy perfectly. 

Bucky stretched out on his fluffy back in a beam of sunlight. He had been at the Tower for a week now, growing more comfortable with touch every day. Steve reached a hand towards Bucky’s stomach but stopped to make sure Bucky was okay with it. Bucky stretched out further, purring, and Steve figured that was cat consent.

His stomach was downy soft, and Steve gentled his fingers through Bucky’s fur. Bucky relaxed, going limp under Steve’s gentle ministrations. He purred a little and a tiny drop of drool slipped out of the side of his mouth. He looked strung out and blissful and Steve could do this all day every day if it made Bucky this happy.

Suddenly, and for reasons unknown, Bucky latched onto Steve’s arm with his claws. His front paws held on, his back paws kicked, and he gnawed on Steve’s fingers.

“C-Claws,” Steve said, trying to extricate himself. This only seemed to motivate Bucky further. Maybe Steve should buy him a stick to chew on, he thought. No, that was dogs, but Steve couldn’t be too hard on himself for thinking that when a wild animal was nomming on him.

Bucky sat up suddenly and raced down the hallway and back again, jumped on the couch, flew to a chair and then landed on the table. He looked over mischievously, and Steve realized too late that he had left a cup of water out. Fortunately, he switched to plastic cups on the third day of Bucky’s visit, but he hadn’t gotten in the habit of putting them away.

“Bucky, no,” Steve said.

Bucky didn’t seem to hear him. He walked casually over to the cup, then turned to look Steve in the eye. Do cats smirk? Steve was pretty sure Bucky was smirking. Maintaining eye contact, Bucky reached out a paw and knocked the cup off the table.

Okay, so not everything about house cat Bucky was awesome.

Steve grumbled and went to fetch a towel. At least it was only water. Bucky followed him and rubbed his body against Steve’s legs. If he were human, it might seem contrite, but he didn’t think house cat Bucky felt bad about it.

Bucky transformed into his naked human form, and Steve forgave him immediately. Bucky could play him like a piano, and Steve didn’t mind it one bit.

“Sorry, Steve,” Bucky said, reaching for the towel. “It’s hard to resist.”

Steve didn’t let him take it and then regretted that because seeing naked Bucky bent over cleaning things up would have been awesome. Who said Captain America was good at planning? They were all wrong.

“It’s okay,” Steve said, as he crouched down with the towel. “What do you want to do today?”

A knock came at the door, and Steve and Bucky shared an alarmed looked. Bucky quickly shifted to his cat form and hid underneath the couch.

“Open up, Rogers,” Natasha called out. “JARVIS said you’re playing with a cat, and I want in on it.”

Knowing she would hack the electronic lock if he didn’t respond, Steve opened the door a crack. Natasha immediately tried to wedge a shoe inside. She was carrying her small black cat, Liho.

“It’s good for them to socialize with other animals,” Natasha said.

“I’m just fostering this one,” Steve replied. “Um, don’t know if I’ll want to keep it, so no need to socialize them yet. The vet said they, uh, need to get used to one another slowly.”

“Then we might as well start now,” Natasha said, all sugar sweet with a shark-like smile.

Steve didn’t know what to do. He was out of excuses and knew next to nothing about cats. Natasha must have known, because she grinned and stepped back, waiting for Steve to open the door.

Bucky was used to covert operations, Steve reasoned frantically. Surely he could handle this. And it wasn’t like the other Avengers knew he had found Bucky, and they certainly didn’t know about his shape-shifting abilities.

“Why come in,” Steve said with a grimace as he opened the door. “How nice of you to stop by.”

Natasha stepped inside and placed Liho on the floor, ignoring Steve’s snark. Liho sniffed the ground and caught Bucky’s scent. A low warning noise came from underneath the couch followed by a hiss. Liho looked undeterred but hissed back to make a show of it.

Bucky scooted closer, his pink nose peeking out from underneath the couch. Liho stepped towards him then hopped back when Bucky hissed again.

Some part of Steve wanted to shout with relief. If this went badly, he could shuttle Natasha out quickly before she figured things out. He shot Liho a commiserative glance and hoped Bucky wouldn’t scratch her.

“Maybe now isn’t the time,” he said to Natasha.

Natasha looked shrewdly between Liho and Bucky, unbothered by the proceedings. “Shush, Rogers. Give it time. This is what cats do.” Sure, she knew more about cats than him, but the scene also reminded him of when he first met Natasha.

Liho was adorable and small, and beside’s Bucky’s bulk she looked positively tiny. She and Bucky seemed to have reached an uneasy detente with Natasha’s little cat sitting on her haunches and delicately cleaning herself.

Bucky let out a plaintive little yowl, and Steve moved to go to him before he realized Bucky wasn’t looking at him. He was looking at Liho.

Bucky wiggled his way out from underneath the couch and for several minutes the cats warily sniffed one another until Liho got right up next to Bucky and rubbed her side against his.

Bucky immediately purred and butted his head against Liho’s, rubbing their jowls together.

Steve was not jealous. He wasn’t. Only a crazy person would get jealous that his cat boyfriend, crush, whatever they were was being affectionate with another cat.

Bucky booped Liho’s nose tentatively with his paw, and Liho responded by immediately pouncing. They chased one another around the room, reminding Steve more of dogs than cats.

Natasha chuckled. “Don’t hurt my cat, Barnes.”

Bucky didn’t seem to notice her comment, but Steve felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. “How did…” he stumbled, unable to deny it.

Natasha didn’t bother answering his question, preferring to ask her own. “So does this mean you’re into all cats now or just Bucky? Never took you for a furry.”

Steve stared at her, mouth open in shock. No one except Peggy and the Howling Commandos knew about him and Bucky’s romantic past, and how Natasha found out, he did not know.

Bucky must have decided to rescue Steve because he disengaged from Liho and walked over to Natasha. She reached to pick him up and Steve started to warn her, but Bucky let himself be lifted without incident. He looked giant in Natasha’s arms. Natasha carried him to the couch, speaking in low, dulcet tones. Inane things about what a good cat he was. And a pretty cat. And so soft.

She sat on the couch, and Bucky curled up in her lap, snuggling against her stomach and breasts.

There was no denying it this time, Steve was definitely jealous. How could he not be? Here was Bucky all snuggled up with the second hottest woman Steve had ever met, and he was pretty sure they had a history together, though neither had said anything about it.

“Natasha kissed me once,” Steve blurted out and hated himself immediately. Just because he was feeling jealous didn’t mean Bucky should be, too.

Bucky’s cat face looked rather unimpressed at Steve.

“It was for a mission,” Natasha said, scratching Bucky’s chin. “You understand.”

Bucky apparently did understand, because he turned his head and let Natasha scritch his cheek. Liho seemed content to wander the area.

“Don’t know how you put up with kissing him on a regular basis,” Natasha said with what Steve felt was an exaggerated face. “He’s not good at it.”  

It hurt more than Steve cared to admit that moment. He missed touching Bucky in his human form, falling asleep curled up together, trading kisses for hours. Steve wasn’t unreasonable; he was just happy to have Bucky back and would wait for Bucky to be ready to touch. Still, Natasha’s words pressed against a sore spot in his heart.

Before Steve could respond, the door opened, and Sam called in, “I hear it’s cat playtime.”

Steve tensed. Back when they’d been searching for Bucky, when he and Sam had been living in each other’s pockets and sharing every secret, Steve had disabled the normal security protocols, so his friend could come and go as he pleased. He’d have to undo that now that Bucky was back.

Bucky stiffened in Natasha’s lap, but she petted him in long smooth strokes, and he relaxed in her hold.

Sam entered the room and did a double take when he saw Bucky. “Did you adopt a cat or a mountain lion?”

“I think he’s beautiful,” Natasha said primly.

“If you’re into that whole beautiful and terrifying thing,” Sam replied. He shrugged and held up a key chain. “Check it out.”

Steve had no idea what he was supposed to be checking out, but apparently, Liho and Natasha did.

Sam pressed a button and a red dot appeared on the ground, which Liho immediately pounced on. Bucky looked like he wanted to, but he was fighting it. His head turned this way and that as he followed the laser with his full attention.

Liho’s stunts became increasing acrobatic as she raced to catch the red dot.

“What’s with your cat, man?” Sam said to Steve. “He doesn’t like to play.”

Sam reached his hand out to let Bucky smell it, but Bucky hissed and batted a paw at him, claws out.

“Whoa! Your cat’s an asshole,” Sam exclaimed, pulling his hand back.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Steve grumbled.

“As I told you before,” Natasha said smugly, “not all of us are won over by a pretty face.”

Sam grinned and looked at Steve. “She thinks I have a pretty face.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, just a touch of blush high on her cheeks, and they bantered back and forth. Bucky, it seemed, had no interest or patience with the conversation. He walked over to Liho and held eye contact for a minute, some wordless conversation, before rubbing his cheek against hers and retreating to the bedroom.

When Sam tried to get Liho to play with the laser again, she ignored him.

———

Steve wasn’t pouting. He wasn’t. He was allowing himself to feel his feelings as his therapist had suggested many times. Besides, he’s a super soldier, a war hero, and over one hundred years old. He doesn’t pout. He considers important things meaningfully and with dignity. It was a bullshit excuse. He was pouting, and he knew it. 

He turned over in bed and startled when he saw cat Bucky watching him intently from on top of a six-foot-tall bookcase. "How'd you even get up there?"   

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/149607612@N05/46524893824/in/album-72157707066444045/)

Bucky hopped down and shifted into his human form. “Stevie,” Bucky said, his voice a mask of concern. “What’s wrong?”

Steve grunted and turned away, embarrassed that Bucky had seen him wallowing. 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Steve said. “I’m being unreasonable, and I can’t stop.”

“You can tell me about it, if you want." 

“I’m just…embarrassed,” he settled on. “I wanna go slow with you and give you time to heal, but I also want to hold you and touch you. And seeing you in Natasha’s lap, I mean, I know cat form is different, but it made me think about how much I want from you in your human form.”

Bucky was quiet, but when Steve hazarded a glance at him, he smiled back and joined him on the couch. Bucky began petting long low strokes on Steve’s arm. It was the most they had done in human form, and Steve leaned into the touch.

Bucky had been so tactile before the war, even before they were together, always with a hand on Steve’s shoulder or pulling Steve into his lap. Steve had done that last bit begrudgingly, not liking being the smaller of the two, but he would do it now happily if it meant he got to be closer to Bucky. They had ended their relationship when Bucky was deployed, a decision Steve had regretted ever since. Once Peggy was in the picture, Bucky and Steve had awkwardly gone back to being just friends.

“I know you’re not much for talking anymore,” Steve said.  

“I like hearing you talk,” Bucky whispered. "I'm just not sure I want to go back to the way things were?"

"Is it because of Peggy?"

Bucky shook his head.

"Is it because I didn't save you?" Steve said, hating how his voice wavered. 

Bucky rolled his eyes, but his lips quirked up into a smile.  

“Uh, Is it because I’m big now?” 

Bucky cocked his head to the side, turned a bright blue, and transformed into a lion.

“B-buck?” Steve said. Lion Bucky leaned forward on the couch and licked Steve up his face. Relieved, Steve ran his fingers through Bucky’s golden mane. “Alright, I get it. It’s not about me.”

Bucky laid his heavy head in Steve’s lap. Well, Steve figured, the conversation must be over now or Bucky was sick of talking. He rested his hand on Bucky’s back and the other reached for the remote. Bucky made a snuffling noise and pushed his head against Steve, not quieting down until Steve petted him again.

“Bossy,” Steve said with a smile. He petted through Bucky’s mane with both hands, hoping that lion Bucky was not as prone to murderous rages as house cat Bucky. “JARVIS, will you turn on the TV? Something relaxing?”

“Would you like to resume your progress through the Disney movies, Captain Rogers?”

“That sounds great,” Steve said. He wasn’t really paying attention. Lion Bucky’s head was a comforting weight in his lap. Maybe too heavy for the average person, but just the right size for Steve.

Steve asked JARVIS to turn the volume to the movie down low so they could talk. “Can I tell you something?”

Bucky pushed his head into Steve’s fingers, and the message was clear.

“I’ve missed you so much. I’m glad you’re here, and I want us to be like we were before, but I don’t know what you want or if you even want that again. Sometimes I feel like I’m just guessing. I, I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do. But you gotta let me know, okay? Or, if you can’t tell me, at least you gotta show me. Make it really clear. Like, you know how thick-headed I can be. You’ve gotta make it really obvious for me. ”

Blue light covered Bucky’s body and interrupted Steve’s rambling. Bucky transformed back into his human form with his head still in Steve’s lap. He was stiff and Steve froze unsure of how to avoid crossing boundaries. Bucky butted his head into Steve’s hand, and Steve slowly ran his fingers through Bucky’s beautiful chestnut strands.

“I—” Steve started.

“Shhh,” Bucky said. “Turn up the volume please, JARVIS.”

JARVIS turned the TV up. Slowly, Bucky relaxed until halfway through Aladdin he fell asleep in Steve’s lap. Steve didn’t stop touching his hair, tracing the lines of his face with his fingers, trying to stay awake as long as possible.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you like this and want to help us get the word out, the Tumblr link is [here](https://tinybearswithjetpacks.tumblr.com/post/183244735944/chapter-3-mountain-dwelling-fairy-cats). 
> 
> Come say hi on Tumblr! Artist: [Esaael](http://esaael.tumblr.com) (she's the nicest person ever) and Author: [Tinybearswithjetpacks](https://tinybearswithjetpacks.tumblr.com)


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